I have heard of Adriano Zumbo.   I knew he was some kind of super sweets making chef but I had never taken much notice of him.  I am not really into the whole celebrity chef thing.  Jamie Oliver can be amusing.  I liked George in the first Masterchef but not when I found out he wanted to pay wait staff a pittance.  I don’t mind Gary but he never occurs to me except when he’s promoting Masterchef.  But last week during some intense channel surfing I stumbled across Adriano on SBS and my oh my I was hooked!

Adriano is the perfect man.  He is handsome and he makes sugary treats – what’s not to like?  I love sugar.  I like brown sugar sprinkled on my porridge.  I like white sugar mixed with cinnamon and sprinkled on my buttery toast.  I liked sugar whipped with egg whites to produce a pavlova.  I like cakes.  A man who works with sugar because he wants you to put sweet things in your mouth, this is absolutely the man for me.

Last night Adriano was pulling sugar.  You may not think this sounds particularly sexy but my heart was all a flutter watching him stretch those hanks of coloured confection out, longer and longer.  His muscled arms, flashing the tattoos on his inner forearm pulled the sugar out, making it yield to his touch.  It left me weak.  A light sheen of perspiration covered his face as he explained the exertion needed when pulling sugar as he once again stretched it into submission.  He really is all I need in a man.

As if making fabulous desserts wasn’t enough, Adriano is, if you’ll forgive me, something of a dish.  He is olive skinned and dark eyed and completely has the bald thing working for him.  In a black t-shirt, he is nothing less than delectable.   I’ll bet he even smells like sugar.  Not being a “foodie” as such, I haven’t actually found eating to be erotic but last night, when Adriano was tasting the wares of his employees, he was just so manly about it.  No delicate little forkfuls for him, oh no!  He took large slabs of the samples put before him, using his hands to feel the food and then threw it all into his mouth to fully taste the desserts created for him.  I can tell you I came over all a quiver.  This was the sexiest experience I have ever  had when watching a food show and I honestly don’t know how his female employees weren’t swooning. I wonder if it is too late for me to become a pastry chef?

And so, I’ve finally found the right man for me.. okay, so he’s on the television.. and we are unlikely to ever cross paths .. so just like his Zumbarons and gateaux, it probably won’t hurt me to gaze upon such sweetness from afar.

*Photo borrowed from:  http://www.sbs.com.au/shows/zumbo

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